Healthy Behaviors Create Positive Feelings

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life.

With almost every unhappy marriage, one or both spouses have numb or empty feelings. The simple reason is a lack of positive behaviors and words on a daily basis.  When dissatisfaction is present, I often ask, “What caring actions and positive comments have you made toward your spouse in the last week?” and the answer is generally not good.

On the positive side, although feelings and thoughts are beyond our control, we can manage our actions and words.  Actions like attentive eye contact, hugs, kisses, kind gestures, compliments, saying “I am sorry” or “I forgive you” are all within our control. Actions always come first, and then loving feelings follow those positive words and behaviors.

TODAY:  Decide to begin serving and giving to your spouse on a daily basis with caring actions and encouraging words. (January 25, 2017)

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Decision-Making Based On Facts

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life.

When faced with making a decision, separate FACTS from feelings.  “Feelings” decision-making is usually founded upon our assumptions or intuition.  For example, when counseling premarital couples I tell them that, “Marriage is an intelligent (factual) decision, not an emotional one.” I always suggest the two of them objectively evaluate their future spouse’s virtues and flaws.  The reason:  Failed marriages are often the result of a “feeling” choice.

Definitely like you, I am human and do make mistakes.  Unfortunately, when I made poor choices over the course of my life, the main reason 90% of the time was due to basing my decision on feelings rather than FACTS.  In the future, we can change most of our poor choices by assessing decisions in a factual manner.

TODAY:  Begin writing down the FACTS in a “Pros” and “Cons” manner with all major decisions. (January 11, 2017)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!