Your Marital Ideas May Not Be The Truth

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

Mistakenly, most couples think what creates a happy marriage is loving each other but that is simply only a minor start.  The reason:  not only is loving each other usually defined differently by both spouses, often one spouse’s idea of loving each other is a really false perspective that ends up damaging the relationship.

Years ago I counseled a couple and the wife thought it was okay to scream, yell, and call names because she observed her parents exhibiting those behaviors and her parents were still married.  When I asked for a description of the relationship, the husband chimed in with “they strongly resent each other, do almost nothing together, and sleep in separate bedrooms.”  How to have a healthy disagreement discussion was actually foreign to the wife’s way of thinking because her opinion was not a healthy marital axiom.

The legendary football coach Vince Lombardi said, “Practice does not make perfect.  Only perfect practice makes perfect.”  Likewise, loving each other does not make a satisfying marriage.  Only loving each other with beneficial marital words and behaviors make a gratifying marriage.

TODAY:  Independently, I encourage you and your spouse to make a list of your top ten marital truths that you “think” creates a happy marriage.  Then, together discuss if those ideas are strong marital truisms or merely unhealthy opinions. (If you have children, I urge you to do the same exercise as parents.)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Good Givers Are Often Good Spouses

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

An attitude of giving by both spouses is what permeates a happy, satisfying marriage.  Developing the skill of giving in all facets of your marriage requires a labor of love on a daily basis.  The flipside to giving is receiving and both spouses also need to receive in order to have a gratifying marriage.

A marriage will rarely be completely fulfilling if either spouse is only capable of giving but not able to receive or if either spouse refuses to give but only wants to receive.  As with most areas of life and relationships, the essential key is balance where both spouses mutually give and receive.

TODAY:  Sit down with your spouse and share marital areas where you want your spouse to give more as well as those marital aspects where you wish your spouse would be more open to receiving from you. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!