Healthy Marital Communication  

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

Giving positive praise and sharing disappointing hurts are key components of healthy marital communication. Just as important for a satisfying marriage are both spouses being able to receive that information in a healthy way.

After receiving praise, a simple “Thank You” or “You Are Welcome” builds self-worth in a spouse as well as strengthens politeness within the relationship. When a disappointing hurt is shared it is equally important to not be overly sensitive and get defensive. 

A major enemy for a gratifying, happy marriage is receiving a disappointing hurt as an attack rather than just information.  Far too often I have counseled couples where the chief stumbling block to happiness was one spouse who regularly over reacted when a disappointment was shared.

TODAY:  If your spouse shares a disappointing hurt, seek to understand the hurt and then together search for a solution that will either heal the hurt or improve that aspect of your marital relationship.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Have A Politeness Month!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

 Ask yourself an important question:  “On a daily basis, how often do I use ‘Please,’ ‘Thank you,’ and ‘I appreciate’? Hopefully, your answer is frequently.  However, I believe that we too easily forget to go overboard on politeness with family and friends.

One way to recharge our relationships and even our attitude is by going overboard on politeness every day.  Daily using those three politeness phrases can create an “Attitude of Gratitude” in our hearts as well as enhance our relationships.

TODAY:  Begin the Politeness Monthly Challenge for June.  Set a daily goal to use one of those three politeness phrases with family members or friends.  In addition, set a daily goal to use a politeness phrase with an acquaintance or even stranger at the gas station, grocery store, etc. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Bake A Great Cake!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

If a cake tastes like vinegar, the most delicious icing in the world will not improve the taste.  Think of a cake as your personal life and a marriage like the icing.

I have counseled numerous couples that had a troubled relationship due to one spouse having a personal life that was not pleasant.  Surprisingly, those spouses often blamed the marriage rather than accepting responsibility for an unsavory cake.

The best marriage cannot create a happy life for either partner because one’s personal life must first be satisfying.  Hence, the goal is to focus on baking a great cake, in other words, having a pleasing personal life. Then, the satisfying icing on the cake will make a delicious combination.

Always remember, happiness is an inside job, not a relationship one.  Pour your energies into making yourself a better person, spouse, friend, parent, etc.

TODAY:  Determine what “ingredient,” meaning positive attribute(s) or behavior(s), will begin improving your personal life.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

YouTube Videos:  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.

Improve 1% Per Week

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

Literally, every major accomplishment happens “one” at a time.  No individual or relationship ever got better all at once.  Improvement happens one day at a time, one compliment at a time, one minute of exercise at a time, one hug at a time, one phone call at a time, one action at a time, one kiss at a time, etc.

Most of us want immediate success in all areas of life but, of course, that is not realistic.  In counseling, I often suggest to individuals, couples, parents, and families, that a reasonable goal is one percent improvement per week or four percent per month.  Certainly, one percent per week doesn’t sound like much but at the end of a year that is 50% improvement as a person, spouse, parent, friend, etc.

TODAY:  Take “one” action that can begin the process of improving yourself as a Christian person.  In addition, take “one” action or say “one” sentence that will improve a relationship, whether a friendship, marriage, parent-child connection, co-worker association, etc.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

YOUTUBE VIDEOS:  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.

Questions Answered on YouTube

I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  Each video will be approximately 2 to 3 minutes in length.

My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  To create my own personal You Tube channel I had to have a space between “Pastor” and “Dr” as well as between “Dr” and “Randy.”  Whenever you find a video helpful or interesting, will you please “Like” it?

I have now posted two YouTube videos.  The first video is an “Introduction” and the second video is “The Important Third Marriage Commitment.”  Shown below are the YouTube videos and a radio interview on STAR 88.3.

INTRODUCTION

THE IMPORTANT THIRD MARRIAGE COMMITMENT

INTERVIEW ON STAR 88.3 RADIO IN FORT WAYNE: My Future Marriage Book

http://star883.com/news/randy-schroeder-the-platinum-marriage

I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.  Please also subscribe on my website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com.

May God richly bless your life and relationships!

Randall A. Schroeder, Ph.D., M.Div., M.Ed.

Schroeder Counseling & Consulting, Inc.

www.DrRandallSchroeder.com

4850 East Main Street

Carmel, IN 46033

260-348-8777

Are You Having Fun With Your Spouse or Child?

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

My definition of fun is doing an enjoyable activity together with your spouse or child.  Fun is not doing a responsibility with your spouse or child.  Certainly, family fun times are also very important but there needs to be a balance with one-on-one time and that is usually what is absent in too many family relationships.

Whether husband-wife or parent-child, satisfying, rewarding relationships have a lot of one-on-one fun times!  You often bond the most when the enjoyable activity is without others around.  Having just one-on-one fun with your spouse or child creates happiness for both of you and strengthens your emotional connection.

TODAY:  Please ask your spouse or child what meaningful activity would be fun to do both inside the home and outside the home

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Touch Is Foundational For Our Well-being 

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

Babies denied skin-to-skin stimulation usually struggle with physical, mental, and emotional developmental issues.  Neglected babies often “fail to thrive” due to touch deprivation.  The good news is that through emotional support and physical touch on a daily basis, the negatives for those babies can be reversed resulting in a happy, successful life.

So science proves that meaningful touch is essential for every child but it is equally important in marriage. Spouses and parents must never underestimate the Power of Physical Touch.  One of the very best ways to stay connected in marriage and parenting is through skin-to-skin contact. Daily, strive to be a wholesome person, spouse, and/or parent by giving and receiving touch with those you love.

TODAY:  Keep track of how many times along with the various ways you touch your spouse, and if you are a parent, your child. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Your Marital Ideas May Not Be The Truth

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

Mistakenly, most couples think what creates a happy marriage is loving each other but that is simply only a minor start.  The reason:  not only is loving each other usually defined differently by both spouses, often one spouse’s idea of loving each other is a really false perspective that ends up damaging the relationship.

Years ago I counseled a couple and the wife thought it was okay to scream, yell, and call names because she observed her parents exhibiting those behaviors and her parents were still married.  When I asked for a description of the relationship, the husband chimed in with “they strongly resent each other, do almost nothing together, and sleep in separate bedrooms.”  How to have a healthy disagreement discussion was actually foreign to the wife’s way of thinking because her opinion was not a healthy marital axiom.

The legendary football coach Vince Lombardi said, “Practice does not make perfect.  Only perfect practice makes perfect.”  Likewise, loving each other does not make a satisfying marriage.  Only loving each other with beneficial marital words and behaviors make a gratifying marriage.

TODAY:  Independently, I encourage you and your spouse to make a list of your top ten marital truths that you “think” creates a happy marriage.  Then, together discuss if those ideas are strong marital truisms or merely unhealthy opinions. (If you have children, I urge you to do the same exercise as parents.)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Good Givers Are Often Good Spouses

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

An attitude of giving by both spouses is what permeates a happy, satisfying marriage.  Developing the skill of giving in all facets of your marriage requires a labor of love on a daily basis.  The flipside to giving is receiving and both spouses also need to receive in order to have a gratifying marriage.

A marriage will rarely be completely fulfilling if either spouse is only capable of giving but not able to receive or if either spouse refuses to give but only wants to receive.  As with most areas of life and relationships, the essential key is balance where both spouses mutually give and receive.

TODAY:  Sit down with your spouse and share marital areas where you want your spouse to give more as well as those marital aspects where you wish your spouse would be more open to receiving from you. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

 

 

More Of; Less Of; Just The Right Amount

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life.

Like all couples and parents, you continually want to strengthen your marriage bond and parent-child relationship.  Often, in marriage and family counseling, I will ask each individual to answer three questions:  1) What do you  want to do more of? 2) What do you want to do less of? and 3) What are you doing just the right amount?

This simple exercise can really enhance your relationships.  By answering those three questions you will automatically propel your marriage or parent-child relationship in a positive direction.

TODAY:  Sit down with your spouse and share your responses to those three questions.  If you have a child, ask your child to answer those questions in order to better meet their needs. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!